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Who Am I?


Jan 7

Written by: Miami
1/7/2009 4:58 PM

Following up on a comment about energy in a prior post ("mind of mush"), the following words of Ramana appear to offer some guidance:

"The state free from thoughts is the only real state."

The condition of confused mind or confused thoughts could more scientifically be called a state of unstable mental energy. How does this manifest in me personally? As not being able to think in a straight line. As a kid gets lost when trying to memorize the multiplication tables.

The occurrences in my life when I've been able to reach a relatively thought-free state of rapport with another person are vastly outnumbered by those times I've been in an unhealthy and ugly state of mind-to-mind communication. Such as occurs during stage-fright when an actor forgets his lines, or when a person in a vulnerable state, wide-open after mental exercises, falls into "rapport" with a crowd of people who are immersed in the human-animal state of mind.

My interest in psychic phenomena has always been tempered (intimidated) by the knowledge that my ever-present unstable-energy mental barrier (Benoit's "imaginative film") could sabotage my direction at any crucial moment. Some of you recall that many years ago we decided to study hypnosis as a group effort. At the time I was only able to go through the motions. I knew that rapport was a far-away objective as long as I was preoccupied with repressing and concealing my unruly and even dangerous mental impulses.

So where is the balancing point? I know from my professional life that a long period of focused and not-so-focused struggle was required before I was able to construct the necessary paradigm and see clearly while keeping in mind a host of details and engaging in the necessary computations.

I first read those words of Ramana almost three decades ago and they sounded perfect to me as a theory; they rang true to my intuition. But the application of his message to my personal state was mostly beyond my comprehension.

This person (me) is looking for freedom, including mental freedom.

Is my unstable mind only a reflection of my unstable "I"? Is mental clarity reached by generating a quantum of mental energy, or rather by realizing a self that is beyond the mind? Does the latter require the former?


1 comments so far...

Re: Unstable Mental Energy

Where is it so written that thinking must be in a "straight line" as you mention above?

By Mike on   1/9/2009 9:24 PM

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